An Update

As I looked back over some previous posts, it occurred to me that I’ve not really written a satisfactory conclusion to the August 11th post. And so here, briefly, is how all of that turned out:

Jme was grounded for two weeks. During that time we talked about the situation a number of times as a family. We talked about what she did and why, and what else she could do when she has those same feelings again. We believe that she was earnestly contrite about her bad choices. She realized that we cared a lot about her and by extension, cared about what does and how she spends her time. She apologized to both of us individually, and she did all of those things we asked her to do to make amends.

Many people have left Jme. It’s been a major theme in her life. I’ve mentioned before that there are not a lot of options for friends in our tiny town. And in fact there has been pretty much only one other teenager that we have approved of Jme spending time with: a great kid and another of my students named Juniper. She and Jme have been good friends and have spent a good deal of time together. Juniper has had a really tough home life for a number of years, and she recently found a way out and jumped at it. She went to live with an older sister who lives hundreds of miles away and started to go to school in that town. We hear she’s doing really well.

But Jme wasn’t at all happy to see her go. In fact, the week that Juniper announced she was leaving, Jme immediately dismissed her, didn’t want to spend any time with her, and refused even to say goodbye. Instead, Jme sought out the person we’d least approve of her spending time with. She made the most self-destructive choice for a friend that she could. And so Ave became a constant companion.

On a side note, Ave has been in enough trouble here that she has been – pretty literally – run out of town. She no longer attends our school or lives in our community.

Jme has been with us for almost six months now. In that time there have been only two incidents of “misbehavior” that we have had to work through with her. In all, she has been remarkable. She is responsible with the boys and with her chores at home. She’s fun and good natured most of the time. There are moody episodes, but we seen them blow in and blow out so fast that we no longer pay much attention to them. In all, she’s really warm, friendly, funny and responsible. Sometimes I wish we could recalibrate her values meter, but we’re glad she’s part of our (ever expanding) family.