Today I met with the recruiter who led the orientation meeting yesterday. I wanted to give her some background information on Jme and share some of our concerns about Jme’s participation in their program. My hope was that, when I explained that Jme did not fulfill any part of the definition of “at risk,” the recruiter would tell me that they would flatly turn her down. She didn’t quite say what I had hoped.
She did say that the decision to enroll Jme in the program was ultimately ours. And of course we understand that, but we were hoping the academy would refuse her so that it would not have to be our decision; it would simply no longer be an option.
Here’s the catch-22: We have to sign the permission slip allowing her to join before she can have her personal interview with the recruiter. Once she is in the interview, the recruiter tells me that she would ask Jme why she wanted to sign up, and how she was doing in school. If Jme said she was currently enrolled in school and making progress toward graduation, then the recruiter would tell her that she was not eligible for the program. The recruiter also told me, however, that Jme could then turn around in that same conversation and say, “Fine. Then I’m going to drop out. Now can I join?” and she would suddenly become eligible again. I think that’s ridiculous.
Since we don’t have any guarantee regarding the outcome of this interview, we are not going to let her go in to it with a signed permission slip. So that’s not an option. Which means we are going to have to tell her no sometime between now and her scheduled interview on Friday. If she ever asks us about it, that is.
The application packet has to be completed before her interview. It has a fairly extensive list of things that need to be acquired: a physical, a TB test, a pregnancy test, a shot record, school records, etc. There are also other people to coordinate with. These things will take some time and some coordination to complete, and she has only a week.
As I’ve mentioned before, Jme is going to have to talk to us about this decision and explain her thinking behind it. I mentioned this to her tonight; “You know you’re going to have to talk to us about this, right?” She said she knew what she had to do. A cryptic response. I mentioned that there were a lot of things she had to do in the application packet; she asked me, “You don’t think I know what I need to do?” Okay. Fine. Let us know if you need anything along the way. See, my thinking is that she will not plan ahead, she will not get this done on her own, she will not ask us for help, and she won’t ever come to us to talk about this. If that is the case, then next Friday will come, and she won’t have her application completed, and she won’t be able to do her interview.
It isn’t that we are totally avoiding the subject or shirking the difficult work of confronting her about it, I just think if she really wants this to happen, she is going to have to take responsibility for making it happen. We’ll help as we’ve always done and are always willing to do, but she is going to have to take the initiative.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about how we can say yes to this request. I think she is fully expecting a “no” answer from us. I would like to honor her thinking and give her a voice and a say in determining her future (and surprise her along the way). Under what circumstances could we say yes? I think the only way is this: Tell her yes, she can go. But first, she has to finish her junior year in high school. That alone would put this decision off for another seven months, during which time her desire or other circumstances might change. It also removes the peer pressure of her friend/cousin who is, in part, talking her in joining up along with her. Apparently they have been making these plans together.
And if she is still committed seven moths from now, then at least she could be fully done with her current school, never to come back. She could go to the military academy and finish her last credits required and get her full regular diploma. Then she could go on to enlist in the military or whatever other route she chose. At least that way there would be a natural progression. I can’t imagine the alternative: after spending six months in this entirely new setting, she would not want to go back to her old classrooms, and her old bedroom and old chores and rules with us. No one would.
We’ll see what the week brings.
